Mo-o-oommm!
Hard truths & integrity; Kicking off The Winning Family audiobook AND the Whining Family running commentary.
It’s Mother’s Day weekend and My new favorite Mom song is by Eminem. The hook is amazing—but the song is pretty harsh.
My mom loved valium, and lots of drugs/that’s why I am like I am ‘cause I’m like her. (The video is good but brutal; parental advisory!.)
At the end the artist goes, “sorry mom…still love you though.” He apologizes because it’s hard to tell the truth when the truth is hard. Especially about your mom.
My mom told the hard truth about her mom when she wrote, The Winning Family, a self-esteem classic that was published on three continents. Grandma wasn’t as much of a hot mess as Eminem’s mom, but it was still a hard story, one that mom has told on many stages and many pages. This is what it is: Mom didn’t feel loved. Her mom didn’t know how.
Mother’s Day is a mixed bag for many. I know how lucky I was to get the mom I got, a mom who wanted to be the parent she wished she’d had, and found a way to rise above the harsh patterns. She took the path of the learner, the mindset of growth. I love people who do this, who take the grand parenting adventure into more love.
To celebrate mom, and all moms and mother-figures who have made this choice, I’ve chosen this weekend to launch a new podcast on this channel, a reading of the book’s updated edition, updated by me. Chapter One dropped today, and in it I finally tell the hard truth of my generation. In earlier editions of the book, our stories were disguised in third person because people could have really gotten hurt.
But I’m a grownup now. We’re all grownups now, and it’s time to tell the whole story.
Yeah, all my life my brothers and I smiled like the model children of a self-esteem guru, hiding the secret about why she needed to write this book. Talk about impostor syndrome! I feel like I’m bursting out of a shell today, with the triple opportunity to:
add integrity to the new edition by revealing the truth;
record the new edition in my own actual vocal voice; AND
write a blog where I get to show the messy backstory! Welcome to The Whining Family, where I get to whine all I want!
We lost a fan when this edition first came out, someone who was turned off by what appeared, in the updated first chapter, to be a criticism of a critical stepmom. I know, I know, the evil stepmom trope is tired. But I actually do write good stepmom. And I was sad this friend only skimmed it. My stepmom and I went through a lot together and rebuilt a very good relationship after we were both grownups (that’s in the last chapter). In this book, although my mom’s truth was also tough to tell, her story also has a touching ending.
Happy Mother’s Day to both my Moms.
Mothering is not a greeting card, it’s a journey. And the one I’ve been on with this lady has been pretty incredible. I mean, it’s pretty unusual and pretty special for writing partners to have once shared a body! And so many clothes!
The Winning Family is a parenting masterclass.
This is a great chance to upgrade your subscription, especially if you’re a parent! But this book is also great for anyone who had a shaky relationship with your own folks. You get all access to everything for just $30 a year (a Substack bargain), and if that’s too much, there are instructions on the About page how to get a complimentary subscription.
I will publish 30+ chapters/episodes, which will come out weekly this month, then a few times a week until it’s complete. If you are a paid subscriber who is NOT interested in this family relationship classic (maybe you don’t have a family? or relationships?), you can follow the instructions on the About page how to opt out of “The Whining Family” audience.
Now without further ado, may I present
Chapter Four: Building Self-Esteem!
You can even listen to it on Spotify!
What an enlightened age in which we live where the daughter of a self-help guru cites Eminem as an influence.